It is only natural to want ease and grace, to desire the indisputable revelation of right purpose and true meaning in life. Most of us feel like something is missing, and if we can just find it all will be well. That’s a pretty big draw, a reason to stay in the saddle, to tilt at all the windmills we can find, trusting that if not this one, the next will give up the prize.
Honesty, I don’t know why we think that all our problems will be solved in that hoped for moment of magic, that we will find the right formula eventually. Believing that this is it is simply too much to take in, to let be, so maybe that’s the hope that springs eternal.
The only ease and grace there is in this world, or at least the only ease and grace I have found, is having no need for life to be other than as it is. It is as it is. It’s not what it’s not, so that should be a no-brainer, but that too, is not.
In recognizing the grace as ease that is always presence right here, right now, I find meaning and purpose, well that which can imagined at least, but it isn’t something I make out of this moment, that I interpret or cajole out my experience, of life as it is. It is life as it is.
Diving into this moment exactly as it is, allowing myself to feel it – why not? It’s what’s here for me right now and can’t be escaped – I am likely to discover what it has to offer. It might be the one domino that starts the whole string moving … or it might be the perfect sign that points me within to something I haven’t yet seen … or it might just be a message to slow down and enjoy life just a bit more. The possibilities are endless, a genuine portal that opens into infinity.
Whatever is being offered, and this moment is always offering something new even when it looks like leftovers sitting in the fridge, is unlikely to strip down to ingestible understanding while I am resisting it. When someone resists you, when they throw up a wall, would you show them who you are? Probably not.
The formula we seek is before us with each breath we take. We simply do not want to accept it. The price is too high; the loss feels too deep; the hill of acceptance too steep. It’s not, but there’s no denying that it feels that way.
This breath just as it is, struggling and suffering, being frustrated and feeling dumb with doubt, grieving deeply and writhing in pain, are part of life. In the moment they appear, they are the only life that can be known.
They are not something to avoid, something to overcome and come out the other side heroic. They. Are. Life. Somedays you are the hero, somedays, the villain in your own story. Somedays you ride the horse. Somedays you are dragged from the stirrups or trampled beneath its hooves. Life.
Life is chock full of experiences and that’s what you are here for, to experience life. Your experiences crack you open. They strengthen your resilience, taking you beyond yourself, beyond what you were just a moment before.
When I think back to who I have been in this lifetime, I am in awe, not awe – look how perfect her life was – but good lord, I survived all of that! The one I was no longer exists … she is reinvented with every breath, with each new experience. There’s no reason to berate myself for what I did, for who I have been. Why pummel a memory, a figment of imagination? There is nothing to be gained from that. Not one of us stands still long enough to get a good fix on who we are. We are literally change, infinite aliveness, creation in motion.
Maybe that’s a pointer too!
There is no appropriate bio for Amaya Gayle. She doesn’t exist other than as an expression of Consciousness Itself. Talking about her in biographical terms is a disservice to the truth and to anyone who might be led to believe in such nonsense. None of us exist, not in the way we think. Ideas spring into words. Words flow onto paper and yet no one writes them. They simply appear fully formed. Looking at her you would swear this is a lie. She’s there after all, but honestly, she’s not. Bios normally wax on about accomplishments and beliefs, happenings in time and space. She has never accomplished anything, has no beliefs and like you was never born and will never die. Engage with Amaya at your own risk. That said with a giggle, check out Amaya’s new book – Actuality: infinity at play, available in paperback and e-book at Amazon.