By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
(May 15, 2015)
Sometimes it happens that your significant other or someone else with whom you are close undergoes “problems.” It’s easy to take on the problems, feeling them as your own.
It serves you to develop the ability to remain unattached when your significant other experiences depression, anxiety, or other reactions to life’s ups and downs. Know that anything he/she goes through is not your fault and it is not about you.
Your job is two-fold:
1) Remain unattached. Whatever your significant other experiences has been given to her for her soul’s growth. Your job is to “hold the space” for her to have her experiences and her feelings without becoming sucked into her emotions. Let go of guilt. See her as capable of handling her “stuff,” and refuse to take her emotional experiences and responses personally.
2) Remain supportive. Unattached does not mean uncaring. Be available for support when your significant other asks for it. Holding a supportive space for him to work through issues is one of the most important stances you can take. Let him know verbally that you care while also allowing him to do for himself what he can.
Practice the balance of un-attachment and caring. They can coexist!