By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
(September 19, 2014)
For the majority of the 43 years of my marriage to Steve, I looked to him to meet my emotional needs. Then I learned this important lesson. For those of you in a relationship, this may surprise you…
It’s not your significant other’s job to meet your needs.
It’s your job to meet your needs. When you ask this of your partner, you place an unnecessary burden on the relationship that it often can’t sustain.
When you work out your own issues and accept responsibility for meeting your needs, you release expectations of your partner. You create freedom in the relationship and within yourself.
When you no longer base your relationship on need – when you don’t use the other person to work out your personal issues – then you no longer try to manipulate him or her into changing.
When you drop need and manipulation, you relax. You can then accept and enjoy your partner just as (s)he is. You live your real life rather than a contrived version based on opinions and false beliefs about who the other person should be.
Your relationship becomes healthy, authentic and satisfying.