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    Home » An Exercise in Forgiveness
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    An Exercise in Forgiveness

    June 20, 20141 Comment
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    By Dr. Marta Adelsman
    Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
    www.DrMartaCoach.com
    (June 20, 2014)

    photo_martaadelsmanWhen I recently made a list of people I needed to forgive, I didn’t realize it would be so long.  I kept thinking of people and situations to add.  I put down anyone and anything I could think of around which I had a little or a lot of judgment, negativity or resistance.  I also included aspects of myself that I had judged.

    Instead of seeing the elements on my list through the opinions of the mind, I knew that forgiveness needed to see them through the heart. Following the example of a friend, I took time daily over a couple of weeks to see each one through four facets or attributes of the heart:

    1) Compassion. As I looked at each person and situation through the empathy and deep kindness of compassion, I saw how their actions (or lack thereof) had stemmed from their own hurt and sorrow.  I could begin to feel with them instead of against them.  

    2) Innate harmony. The heart sees only an inherent, built-in accord and goodness in everything.  As I looked, I saw that nothing and no one on my list had been wrong.  All events and circumstances had worked together and unfolded perfectly for my growth.

    3) Healing presence.  For a time I felt stuck with this attribute, until I realized that I couldn’t accomplish healing of hurt and residual bitterness on my own.  I simply had to ask for it and to trust that mending and closure would occur in time. 

    4) Unconditional love.  The heart IS unconditional love.  It places no qualifications on its forgiveness.  Love isn’t necessarily a feeling. It does, however, call for certain, flat out, no strings attached, utter and complete positive regard toward everything and everyone.

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    After a couple weeks, I had company for several days, so I took a break from consciously applying these four attitudes to items on my list. When I went back to it, I noticed that something in me had shifted. 

    I felt genuinely grateful for the perceived pain I had experienced through each person, situation and self-characteristic that I had judged. Each had contributed to my personal development in some way, and I felt appreciative. Offering a silent “thank you,” I moved each one to a new list indicating forgiveness completed.

    The shift had occurred during a time when my attention focused entirely on something else (my guests).  That means that I can’t take any credit for it.  I can only attribute it to the operation of a Grace beyond this little “me.” 

    In the aftermath of this exercise, I feel like I have experienced a fresh, cleansing rain.  I move through my days feeling lighter and freer.  I experience a sense of openness to both big and small miracles arising in my life. 

    If you have never undertaken such an exercise, I highly recommend it!  

    1 Comment

    1. Natalie Timmons on June 23, 2014 9:52 am

      I love this approach to forgiveness. Like peeling an onion, it seems there are always more layers to forgive. I’ve shared this on my Facebook page and invited my friends to join me in trying your process. Thank you for sharing!


    The Sad Lesson of Tyre Nichols
    By Tommy Acosta
    Having grown up in the mean streets of the Bronx there is one lesson we learn early on, and that’s don’t mess with the cops when they got you down, and outnumbered. The beating of Tyre Nichols at the hands of the police preceding his death at the hospital could have been avoided if only he had the sense to not resist them. People fail to understand that on the streets, cops are basically “God.” You can’t fight them. If it takes one, two, five, ten or twenty officers they will eventually put you down and hurt you if they have to in the process of detaining or arresting you. In the Bronx we would fight amongst ourselves but when the cops came it was “Yes, officer. No, officer,” and do our best to look as innocent as possible. People need to understand that cops on the street represent the full power of the state and government. Read more→
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