Political Satire by Tommy Acosta
(October 24, 2020)
If I was a judge at professional prize fight, I would call Thursday’s presidential debate a draw.
Sure, there were a few hard punches thrown by the pugilists but nothing that could knock their opponent out or even just knock him to the ground.
Basically, it was the same blah blah blah we have heard regurgitated for the last two weeks ad nauseum.
Did either of them sway anyone who is presently on the fence one way or another? Nope.
Looking at it coldly, the deciding factor that will determine who will be elected rests on fear: those who fear the Covid-19 virus more than they fear economic collapse and those who fear economic collapse more than the virus. Those are the two camps.
Everything else, the economy, the environment, the bribes, illegal immigration, kids being locked in cages and torn from their parents, is just dressing on the turkey.
There are those like my esteemed colleague below from my days back in college who still like to pontificate their brilliance by getting into the minutia of the back-and-forth banter between the candidates and will go to great lengths to explain their analysis. Not me. I like to keep it simple.
The following is Sean Dedalus’s meandering and long-winded observation of what he believes transpired in the debate.
Yes, I had to force myself to read through his pendulous manuscript to glean a few pearls of wisdom from a seabed of redundancy, but I give him credit for his tenacity and blistering cynicism, two of his few redeeming qualities.
So, go Sean! Lay it on us and P.S. I don’t agree with anything Sean spurts below.
Sean’s Meandering Observation
Joe Biden has been around since 1972, as he was the longest seated Senator in Delaware history. That’s almost one half a century. You know, he was Vice President for 8 years and his greatest claim to fame was that he carried the coat of Barrack Obama, perhaps the most intelligent and eloquent president of post-world war America. Yep, he was in front of me my entire life and yet I know very little about Joe Biden. Very little.
And when I left my debate listening post Joe had talked for 90 minutes but actually said very little and I learned nothing about him.
He is skilled at talking about nothing. Nice stuff like hugging babies and talking about empty chairs at family dinners. He uses loving words like “family” and “character” and he says them, sweetly and earnestly. And then Donald the Crude responds that Biden is a professional politician, a man who has spent a half of a century talking about me and empathizing with my life. But Trump says he has a record of doing nothing and failing America. I think about it and realize that what the sexist cavemen says is true. Joe is full of shit and polishes himself so well that we miss what he is not saying. On the other hand, the barbarian is impulsive and crude … But no serious person can doubt that for good or bad … The beast is a man of action.
It was a great debate. A competent leader was hidden in that narcissistic intellectual giant among pygmies. The Nation saw a glimpse of what Donald Trump could be. He was competent debate night. Many of his sentences were almost complete and he was really sincere in most of his beliefs, even if they are without merit. His list of accomplishments in the past four years, free of partisanship, is pretty impressive and remember the Democrats and their donors, the Establishment Republicans and their donors and most of the media started their crusade to destroy him even before he was sworn in as president.
A Crude Person of Action
Trump brought public scrutiny to the 11- 22 million illegal aliens that simply were left free to squat on American soil and reap the benefits of taxpayer assistance. He singlehandedly turned away the gigantic caravans of needy illegals that tried to ramrod their way thru America’s southern back door. There is still a crisis. But Trump acted and he was relatively successful. He took steps to effectively deliver the message that the United States has borders and just like every other country, aliens have to be granted permission to stay in our country. Tens of thousands of illegals were placed on the public dole in Central Cities across the nation. We supported foreign squatters despite the fact the streets of New York, the Streets of Los Angeles, the streets of San Francisco, the streets of Chicago and many other cities are filled with homeless Americans, many of them veterans and many of them mentally ill. Public Housing goes to illegal aliens while genuine American Citizens wait on 10 year waiting lists to live in the projects. Trump articulated the notion of America first and despite his flaws most Americans agree with him. Even Biden steals Trump’s material.
Setting aside his silly comparison to Lincoln, the draft dodger-in- chief did in fact advance the African American agenda across the board. In terms of jobs, criminal sentencing reforms, funding of historically Black colleges and the commutation of excessive sentences… to list a few, Trump acted to advance the African American agenda. Trump dismissed Black Lives Matters as bad news because of several statements a few BLM members who characterized the police as pigs and wished they were killed, or something to that effect. Yet, it is clear that the overwhelming majority of people in minority communities want a strong police presence, as well as the removal and prosecution of police officers that break the law and abuse or kill people because of the color of their skin or national origin. A lot of people agree with Trump that community policing is not inconsistent with prosecuting rogue police officers.
“Trump is a racist,” Biden exclaimed. He banned Muslim nations from free entrance into the United States. He stereotypes illegal aliens into one big gang of thieves, rapists and drug cartel leaders. He calls COVID-19 the China Virus and he screams that the “peaceful anti-police protests” are covers for ANTIFA covert action used to loot and terrorize our major cities. Biden reminded us that Trump validated the Proud Boys, a far right and neo-fascist group. This is all true. Trump is a pro-white American nationalist and he does not apologize for these allegedly racist statements and actions.
If Donald wasn’t so repulsive at times, he would have easily won the Nobel Prize for peace in the Middle East. In three years, he has done measurably more for America’s most reliable ally in the terror zone, Israel. He has recognized Jerusalem as Israel’s capital. He has officially recognized Israel’s seizure of the Golan Heights and he has brokered peace treaties between Israel and four Arab nations. It may be all worthless, but at least he is trying.
And he could have handled the Corona Virus better and stop talking off the cuff about it. But America knows in its heart that (1) he did not create the virus and (2) he is managing the pandemic better than Biden handled the swine flu and much better than all of the Governors, with the exception of Andrew Cuomo. And despite his distaste, Cuomo was mature enough to acknowledge Trump’s usefulness in New York, the epicenter of the pandemic.
Trump ensured that the War Machine got plenty of money and killing power. He was part of the oddball alliance that crushed ISIS and incinerated a couple of terrorist leaders with drones. International leaders talk crap like the Democrats, but the evidence shows Trump will kill people that threaten our people and interests of the United States. It was not long into his presidency that he dropped the “Mother of All Bombs” on an ISIS crew hiding in Afghanistan. The shock waves were felt miles away. Liberals make fun of him, but people that soldier or fight for a living understand his intention and America’s enemies don’t sleep well with the unpredictable womanizer in the White House.
Joe Biden. A great American that has represented the corporate capital of the world – Delaware – for decades. I muse that the banks and insurance companies only let Obama run as long as Joe was Vice President. Think about it. Delaware has three Electoral College votes. Biden has no raw political power, but more financial Illuminati connections.
More than 60% of Fortune 500 companies are incorporated in Delaware. In Delaware you can game the system legally. From Bank of America to Google to Coca-Cola, all the Casino Royale players incorporate in Delaware. Biden brought no Electoral College votes to the Obama ticket. He brought the banks and insurance companies. Joe is Capitalism’s poster boy. That’s why a lot of Bernie Bros won’t cross the line, because the same donors supporting Trump are supporting Biden.
Biden admitted he made a mistake when he led the charge for mandatory draconian minimum sentences for relatively small amounts of drugs. He stated he had worked to change that but made no progress. Joe Biden talked about empty seats at the dinner table. He knows a lot about that and the thread connecting him to empty seats is much stronger than the thread that connects Trump to the Virus.
Other than admitting his mistake for creating the law requiring mass incarceration, we don’t recall Joe Biden saying anything substantive. For instance, he stated that if he was elected, he would require masks, social distancing and ensure that the soon to be released vaccine is tested sufficiently before distribution. Duh? He stated that he would push a federal law requiring a $15 an hour minimum wage and the taxpayers should subsidize that. He typically walked the tight rope on fossil fuel by saying he would transition fossil fuel out of existence, but Trump pointed out that Biden has been promising the same murky basket of things for over 40 years.
And this is where the tale rested. Nobody really knows anything about Joe Biden. He was not Obama. He was the “old guard”, that is, the absent-minded butler for the American oligarchs. He briefed the men behind the curtain about whatever he knew about Obama. When they stood together you could see him for what he is, that is you saw the Harvard Law Professor and Howdy Doodie; the goofy slap on the back. “here’s the deal man,” touch and feel old man.
So basically, Joe Biden, showed his skill. He can talk for 45 minutes about character, the coffee table and listening to the scientists. But with respect to his knowledge of domestic and international policy Joe Biden said very little. It seemed to me that he spent most of his time talking about Trump. Do you remember anything that stuck in your head when Joe spoke to us?
Finally, Trump never used the word “kick back” or the words “Pay to Play.” Joe Biden goes to China. He takes his son Hunter on AIR Force 2. A very short time later millions of dollars end up in Hunter Biden’s pocket, allegedly, simply for Hunter to make “introductions.” A similar situation in Ukraine where the drug addict son lands a spot on the foreign nation’s Con Edison [Energy] Board.
Trump invited Hunter Biden ex-associate Tony Bobulinski to the debate. Next week, Bobulinski has appointments with the FBI and he says he has three cell phones and a suitcase of e-mails to corroborate the narrative that Joe Biden got a piece of the action. Bobulinski has fingered Joe as the “Chairman” who gets 10%.
Well my liberal friends say the email story is fake news. Some insist it is Russian misinformation. Yet, the Bidens do not deny the emails are authentic and belong to Hunter. The FBI and the Justice Department and the Director of US Intelligence have stated the emails are not part of a Russian program to destabilize America. In short, law enforcement says the emails are Hunter Biden’s statements and impressions about his father’s role in his businesses and deals.
If you laid down the alleged facts to a New Yorker or a LA or Chicago citizen and premise that the Vice President took his crack smoking and prostitute screwing son to world capitals in Air Force 2 and weeks later the son receives millions and millions and dollars from foreign Oligarchs; Next you tell the average Joe or Jill America that the father insists that he never talked any family member about their contracts to create “introductions” to powerful Americans; and then add the fact that but for the fact that his father is VP of the United States, Hunter Biden is a dysfunctional drug addict, the average street person would conclude that Joe spoke to his son about his “consulting business” and spoke to his brother about his Iraq contracts to name a few. And the street person would not doubt that Joe got a kick back.
Bidens and Iraq, Bidens and Ukraine and Bidens and Moscow.
Millions flying around. “50% of my salary for Pop” and “10%” earmarked for the Chairman and don’t put Joe’s name in any e-mail. Well that’s the end. Guilty as charged!
Joe’s not talking because his lawyers told him to keep his mouth shut in order to manage the evidence. But if elected, Joe will get away with it, the same way the Senate Intelligence Committee got away with selling their stock based on US Intel that the deadly virus was leaving China and soon to land in the United States. Joe will beat the case, but Hunter will be prosecuted in Court– and not a drug court.
My final comment on the debate is that Trump is the better candidate. However, this is not a case of who is the better candidate. This is a case of identifying who is less bad than the other. Trump was created by the Republicans and Democrats, created by the national association of around 1000 rich people who fight to control our collective taxes and spend 80% of it on themselves and their interests. Trump is a rogue oligarch. They all hate him, that’s why the average person empathizes with him.
If Joe wins, the left will turn on him and things will get worse.