Political Satire By John O’Brien
Sedona: Bold solutions are necessary to significantly reduce tourism and solve Sedona’s traffic crisis. Here are a few “creative” ideas to consider:
- Demolish and remove all hotels, motels, timeshares, airbnb’s, vacation rentals, restaurants, retail shops, grocery stores, ATV rental businesses, helicopter tour companies, hiking and mountain bike trails in the Sedona area so tourists no longer have a place to sleep, eat, shop and play.
2. Pass a national law that eliminates “Spring Break” throughout the United States.
3. Pass a local ordinance prohibiting the use of social media in Sedona so tourists will be unable to post “look at me” Instagram photos while at Devil’s Bridge and the Subway.
4. Eliminate all vehicles within the Sedona city limits. All tourists will be required to walk into Sedona.
5. Construct gigantic, solid screen structures completely around every red rock formation in the Sedona area so tourists are unable to view these magnificent and beautiful geological features and, thus, will no longer desire to visit Sedona.
6. If the first five ideas don’t significantly reduce tourism and solve Sedona’s traffic problems, then the entire Sedona metropolitan area should be relocated to a less scenic spot in Arizona where tourists are unlikely to visit. The “New Sedona” would be reconstructed either in the desert area outside of Gila Bend or on the rolling plains along Interstate 40 between Ash Fork and Seligman.
I would like to hear other ideas. Hopefully, next time Sedona residents are stuck in one of Sedona’s daily and epic traffic jams on SR 179 and backed up to Bell Rock, or on SR 89A and backed up Cook’s Hill all the way to Soldier Pass Road, they will have plenty of time to contemplate and come up with their own “creative” solutions!
John (JJ) O’Brien
Former Community Director for the City of Sedona.
Well said Gilligan little buddy. Then we will have a place to park the ss minnow.
I agree with you totally
Hey Skipper! Yes, we really need to find a good location for the SS Minnow, so we can begin doing our “three-hour tours” of Sedona. We will make a killing with all of the tourists in town!…….Gilligan
Hey Troublemaker, if your ideas are so good, you should get a job with the city and doing something about it instead of sitting at home and complaining. Lot’s of love, Ron Sievert & Linda 928-300-1214, call anytime and will talk about what’s old and new, you’re in my thoughts.
Hey Ron, I don’t think the City would want me back! Plus, I having way more fun being retired! Hope all is well.
Well love your answer to the Traffic problem of Sedona. This has always been a problem for Sedona, it was a problem also back in 63. Same for Cottonwood also, as the old ones die off new ideas appear as the want of more money drives everything. The drive to get more money is when things will be worked out, trust me. As I look around, I see many changes in the land usage. However, we have an unseen problem that people are forgetting about that is water. More people, businesses, vineries, and other water users. This is a desert, the experts say there is enough water for 100 years, is there? Time will tell, right? People have fooled their selves into the belief that we can change things and solve the problems like this it’s a renewable thing by itself. Clean water is a world problem and, in the U.S., also. Just in our state places are running out. So, let’s build and not worry about the traffic or think of the future. Money will solve the problems, right!
I’m surprised by your comments, having been a fan of the Sedona Excentric for so many years. We satirically warned everyone of the outcome to be expected by uncontrolled growth. Perhaps you recall us painting the rocks black, selling them to Oprah and moving them to Chicago, creating a hologram, building a sewer/subway system and more than twenty years worth of those ideas. The city leaders and chamber were more interested in loading Sedona with as many timeshares, hotels, b&bs as it would hold, encouraged by realtors and developers promising a bright – tax loaded future. Others suggested park’n’ride areas, a transit system that people would actually ride, fewer atvs and more bicycles, worker housing built on reclamation land, taxing groceries and other sane ideas – even making 89A one-way to Flag and one-way back down Schnebly with a cross bridge connecting the two at its shortest point. Some songs come to mind – It’s Too Late Baby, They Paved Paradise and Put Up a Parking Lot, Where Have All the FLowers Gone, Teach Your Children. Cheers!
Hey Thom, I loved the satire you did in the Sedona Eccentric! That was a real Sedona classic newspaper you had going and I loved reading every issue! I do remember your idea to paint the red rocks black! Great material!……John
I know! Let’s require tourists to drive to Sedona in ATVs, wherever they come from!
Get rid of all the old farts in govt positions – that Sandy looks like Nancy Pelosi!
Out with the old!
In with the young minds
They can’t do any worse than the roundabout elderly!