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    Home » Manipulation
    Dr. Marta Adelsman

    Manipulation

    April 14, 2013No Comments3 Mins Read
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    photo_martaadelsmanBy Dr. Marta Adelsman
    Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
    www.DrMartaCoach.com 
    (April 14, 2013) 

    In February, my oldest son came for a visit. I wanted him and three of my friends to meet, so I arranged for us all to have lunch at a local restaurant. I soon noticed that things weren’t going well.

    People talking and dishes clashing echoed throughout the restaurant, making it challenging to hear each other across the table. In addition to this, my son didn’t feel well and was somewhat withdrawn. The conversation seemed rather “bumpy.”

    I left the restaurant feeling disheartened. My friends didn’t really get to know my son, nor he them. Maybe I just projected my own thoughts and feelings onto others when it seemed that everyone felt disappointed.

    As I reflected later on the situation, I realized that I had had a hidden agenda. I wanted to impress my son with my friends and to impress my friends with my son. So, like a director of a play, I had maneuvered the actors into position for my desired outcome, which was really about me. The ego wanted to look like a great mom who had raised a cool son and who chose great friends.

    This situation taught me that whenever I try to mold and shape events for selfish gain, I set others and myself up for disappointment and failure.

    I learned that manipulation dishonors because it’s based on believing a lie. In this case, I believed that, at some level, I wasn’t worthy and that I needed to manage and control an event to try to “prove” my value.

    I encourage you to shine the light of your consciousness onto how you subtly manipulate situations and people. Perhaps you’ve used manipulation tactics like these:

    • Trying to make someone feel guilty so they will behave differently.
    • Instead of asking for something directly, hinting at what you want, hoping the person would get the whole picture.
    • Complaining so that others would feel sorry for you or fix something for you.
    • Spreading gossip about someone to make you look better than him/her.
    • Being nice or overly gracious to get others to approve of you.

    I share these forms of manipulation with you because I know them all too well, having used them myself. Start to illuminate where and how you may also utilize these and others tactics to manipulate and control.

    When you shine your Light on them, manipulative behaviors diminish and eventually disappear.

    Dr. Marta offers free 20-minute Awareness Sessions to support your clarity about how you communicate. Call 928-451-9482 or e-mail drmartacoach@gmail.com.

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    Paid Political Ad Paid For by Samaire for Mayor
    Paid Political Ad for Samaire Armstrong
    Paid Political Announcement by Samaire For Mayor

     THE MOMENT IS UPON US

    Dear Sedona,

    The moment is upon us. The time for a united effort to shift the focus back to our community is now.

    The ability to thrive in our community, our environment, our workforce, and the tourist industry, is entirely possible because we have all the resources needed for success.

    Still, we need a council that isn’t afraid to ask the hard questions, that makes decisions based on data and facts, and through discussion, rather than moving and voting in group unison as they so regularly do.

    This is my home. I have been a part of the Sedona community for 28 years. I witnessed the road debacle, the lack of planning, the city circumventing the local businesses ability to thrive, while making choices to expand the local government and be in direct competition with private industry.

    I am a unique candidate because unlike the incumbents, I don’t believe the government should expand in size, nor in operations, nor would I attempt to micromanage every aspect of our community.

    City government should stay in its lane and allow the competitive market of local private industry to prosper. And it should defend our community from corporate takeover and infiltration of our town.

    I do not agree that we should sign onto International Building Codes and regulations by signing Sedona up to the ICC. It is imperative that we remain a sweet, rural community.

    Where are the arts? Where is this organic thriving element that we allege to be animated by. Where is our culture? Where is our community?

    The discord between the decision making process and the desires of the community have never been more clear. It has been nearly a decade in the making.

    It is time for a new era of energy to take charge. An energy that is reflective in the ability to succeed rather than be trapped in out of date consciousness.

    It has been a great honor meeting with each of you. I hear your concerns over the insane and out of control spending and I echo them. A budget of $105,000,000 in a town of 9700 residents is completely unacceptable. A parking structure (that looks like a shoe box) originally slated to cost 11 million, now projected to cost 18 million, is incomprehensible. Especially, considering there is no intention of charging for parking.

    For those who are concerned that I lack the political experience within our established system- that is precisely what Sedona needs… Not another politician, but instead a person who understands people, who listens to the voices within the community, and who will act in service on their behalf with accountability, for the highest good of Sedona. What I am not, will prove to be an asset as I navigate the entrenched bureaucracy with a fresh perspective. Business as usual, is over.

    Creative solutions require new energy.

    Every decision that is made by our local government, must contemplate Sedona first.

    • Does this decision benefit the residents?
    • Does this decision benefit the local businesses?
    • Does this decision actually help the environment?
    • Will this decision sustain benefit in the future, or will it bring more problems?

    What we have now is a city government that expands to 165 employees for 9700 residents. Palm Desert has 53,000 residents and 119 city employees. Majority of our city department heads are not even in town. I find this problematic.

    Efforts towards championing in and courting new solutions for our medical needs are imperative. We are losing our doctors. We must encourage competition with other facilities rather than be held hostage by NAH, who clearly have their own set of dysfunctions.

    We must remember that so many move to Sedona for its beauty, hiking, and small town charm. Bigger, faster, and more concrete does not, in broad strokes, fit the ethos of Sedona.

    The old world must remain strong here in balance, as that is what visitors want to experience. Too many have noted that Sedona has lost its edge and charm.

    As Mayor I will preserve the rural charm of our community, and push back against the urbanization that is planned for Sedona.

    As mayor I will make it a priority to create opportunities to support our youth.  After school healthy, enriching programs should be created for our kids, and available to the Sedona workforce regardless of residency and regardless of school they belong to.

    As Mayor, I will create an agenda to deliberately embody the consciousness of our collective needs here, allowing private industry to meet the needs of our community rather than bigger government.

    I hope to have your vote on Aug 2nd. I am excited and have the energy to take on this leadership role with new eyes, community perspective, and the thoughtful consciousness that reflects all ages of the human spectrum.

    Thank you deeply for your consideration.

    Sincerely,

    Samaire Armstrong

    Sedona elections
    Armstrong vs. Jablow: The Main Event
    Ready to Rumble

    By Tommy Acosta
    In the Blue Corner stands Scott Jablow and in the Red Corner of the ring stands Samaire Armstrong, ready to rumble to the bitter end in their fight to become the next Sedona mayor. Jablow weighs in with 1,137 primary election votes (36.13%) under his belt, having wielded his advantage as sitting Sedona City Council vice-mayor to his favor. He brings his years of serving in that capacity into the fray and waged a solid fight in his campaign to make it to the run-off. Armstrong, however withstood a blistering smear campaign from the other opposing candidates and their supporters to make it to the final bout with 967 votes under her belt (30.73%), an amazing feat for a political newcomer. Unfortunately, for the other two candidates, Kurt Gehlbach and sitting mayor Sandy Moriarty, neither put up enough of a fight to make it to the championship bout. Read more→
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