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    Home » Do People Take Advantage?
    Sedona

    Do People Take Advantage?

    June 20, 2018No Comments
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    By Dr. Marta Adelsman
    Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
    www.DrMartaCoach.com
    (June 20, 2018)

    photo_martaadelsmanWhen we give to others, we may sometimes feel people to whom we give take advantage of our unselfishness.  We slip from feeling good about our giving to feeling like victims of our generosity. 

    Sometimes we allow doing-for-others to disrupt what we want to do for ourselves.  When we perceive others have begun to take us for granted, we move from compassion to victim-hood.  Resentment creeps in.  Then we feel guilty about feeling resentful.

    When we fail to set a boundary and to say no when it doesn’t serve us to give, we train others to take advantage of us.  Yes, believe it or not, we give them permission to use us!

    Feeling resentful becomes our cue to change ourselves.  Changing others is an exercise in futility.  It’s our responsibility to set our own limits.

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    When we take care of ourselves in the same way we shower care on others – when we respect ourselves – then and only then will others respect us.

    We can stop believing the myths we’ve developed around giving, such as:

    • It’s selfish to give ourselves what we need.  (It’s not.) 
    • Others’ needs always mean we’re the ones called to fulfill them. (They don’t.)  
    • We have to give, even when it’s at our expense. (We don’t.)

    As you give, take your resentment temperature.  If it’s above normal, I prescribe a healthy dose of self-care.  Only you can set your boundaries!

     

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    Analyzing City’s Legal Right to
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    Mea Culpa! Mea Culpa! Mea Maxima Culpa! I screwed up. Blew it. Totally made a fool of myself. Missed the boat. I am talking about my editorial on the OHV fight, No Legal Traction on OHVs. I assumed that it was ADOT that would make a decision on whether the city could legally ban off road vehicles from our public roads like S.R. 89A and S.R. 179. Man was I off. ADOT has nothing to do with allowing or disallowing the city to do so. ADOT’s response to me when I asked them to clarify their position, was curt and to the point. “ADOT designs, builds and maintains the state highway system,” I was told. “It is not our place to offer an opinion on how state law might apply in this matter.” It was a totally “duh” moment for me when I realized that that the decision or judgement on the OHV ordinance, would involve the state and not ADOT. Chagrinned I stand. The crux of the matter then is whether the city can effectively use a number of standing state laws that can be interpreted to determine whether the city can legally ban the vehicles or not. Read more→
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