If I Was Curtis Sliwa

By Tommy Acosta

Sedona, AZ –One of my guilty little pleasures is imagining what I would do if I was in someone else’s shoes, especially politicians.

In this essay I would love to jump into the shoes of Curtis Sliwa, a former New York City vigilante who founded the Guardian Angels and is now running as a Republican for mayor of his city.

Most likely he will go up against former NY Governor Andrew Cuomo; a young challenger who recently won the Democrat primary for mayor named Zohran Mamdani; and present NYC mayor Eric Adams. Cuomo and Adams are running as independents.

Some would say it’s almost impossible to beat a Democrat in NY, even though it’s happened before like with Giuliani. So imagining myself as Sliwa I ask myself what I would do if I were him and his advisors.

First, I would dump my signature beret (it’s so played out and sends the wrong message) and put on a nice red MAGA hat with the inscription “Let’s Make New York Safe Again.”

Borrowing a page from Trump’s campaign I would instill as much fear in the population as possible where citizens would be afraid to step out their door fearing the millions and millions of psychotic killers, rapists, thieves, cat and dog mutilators, child pornographers, and crazed illegal immigrants terrorizing the city.

I would need Fox News to push the fears like it did with Trump and convey the message night after night that millions and millions of evil-doing illegal immigrants are taking over entire cities, in this case New York.

I would get Trump to attack Mamdani as being a hard-core communist intent on turning New York into a communist state.

Plus I would get the Republican Party to raise millions and millions of bucks to make commercials sensationalizing crime and how New York City has become a hotbed of lawlessness and perversion under Democrat rule.I would run on a platform to double the size of our police and promise to build new jails to keep the killers and thieves off the streets.

The trick is to make every potential voter believe we are plunging into uncontrolled chaos and lawlessness and only we Republicans can put an end to it.

This is why Trump won. If promoting fear across the country of the illegal immigrants migrating to America worked for him, it would work for my persona of Curtis Sliwa.

And let’s not forget hiring a crackerjack team of the best social media influencers money can buy.

Which brings me to an observation that has absolutely nothing to do with the theme of this editorial.

During the fight for the presidency between Biden and Trump I remember clearly suggesting to Biden’s handlers to not engage under any circumstance in a debate with Trump. I suggested if anyone asked why Biden refused to debate the answer was “I don’t debate with convicted criminals. They do not have the right to walk onto a debate stage.”

That would have worked perfectly. He then could have spent his time and money constantly accusing Trump of being a felon, a crook, a criminal, a womanizer, a pervert, etc. etc.

If they would have listened, Biden’s handlers would still be behind the wheel and Latinos would be the future majority of our country.

But enough meandering. Foment the fear. And amplify it across every media channel in New York, especially FOX. Also, keep pushing the fear of radicalized Muslims. Mamdani is a Muslim born in Uganda and we all know that many Muslim nations in the world are out to cook our goose.

Also, I would attack Adams and Cuomo as men who feel up women.

And, I would stop dressing like a clown if I was Sliwa and get a complete makeover and wardrobe replacement, like wearing a blue suit, white shirt and red tie if he hasn’t done so already.

I would though express a need to differentiate between the hard-working illegal immigrants and the criminal element and suggest ICE focus on the multitudes of killers, rapists, child molesters and drug dealers instead of the easy pickings.

Let’s see if Curtis listens

Next: If I were Mamdani what would I do to get elected.

Editor’s Note: The above is political satire and not to be taken seriously. (:->