You want a little more abundance, a little less discomfort, a bit more of the green stuff to pay the bills and a few dollars left over to fill that empty space in your wallet. It doesn’t really matter if it is something you’ve never had, or had and lost, something within aches for it, knows you deserve it.
You want a sweet relationship, one that hugs your heart, someone to snuggle with you and fill up your big empty bed and hold you when you don’t want to be alone, someone to light you up, to smooth you out, to quiet you down. If you’ve lost someone, really lost them, you may silently desire the dead to walk, the losses of this life to not just stop, but reverse themselves.
You want your body to cooperate, to make it easier on you, to quit acting up, to stop acting out, to friggin’ behave, more muscle, less fat, more ease, less fight or flight, more comfort, less agonizing, more youth, less old age, more wellness, less illness. This want may be conscious. It might not be. It may be hiding under your outward embrace, the steps you have taken to finally accept what seems to be your fate.
You want more friends, the right ones, the ones who will be your peeps, the one who will finally get you, who you’ll have great conversations with, who you know are waiting for you to find them, who are looking for you.
Or maybe not … maybe they aren’t out there at all.
O come on Amaya — did you have to go there? That’s low.
Maybe abundance lives within you. Maybe it always has. What if the real relationship is the relationship of the infinite and the finite, the expressionless and its expression, the body and spirit … and all of life — the experience of scarcity, the never perfect body, the ache for community, the ever-elusive right relationship — is pointing to This.
What if you don’t need the guy, the gal, don’t need money in the bank (yes even in this monetary world), don’t need lots of caring and compassionate people around you and don’t even need your health?
What if you don’t need anything?
Can you imagine having no need? Would that make you a hermit? Insular? Heartless? Lifeless? Passionless? Would that be a waste of a precious life?
Is that what you fear?
Every single need has one thing in common — the one who needs — a separate self, a thought in time.
You are abundance, the abundance that is everything. You are the relationship of Infinite Aliveness with Itself. You are the eternal community that is not two, could never be two. And, you are the perfection embodied.
Looking without doesn’t change that. Needing doesn’t prevent that from being true. All it does is stay your focus on what you aren’t, building up the tidal wave that will eventually sweep over you and turn you towards yourself.
You are love. You are already always This regardless.
There is no appropriate bio for Amaya Gayle. She doesn’t exist other than as an expression of Consciousness Itself. Talking about her in biographical terms is a disservice to the truth and to anyone who might be led to believe in such nonsense. None of us exist, not in the way we think. It’s actually much better than we can imagine. Ideas spring into words. Words flow onto paper and yet no one writes them. They simply appear fully formed. Looking at her you would swear this is a lie. She’s there after all, but honestly, she’s not … and she is. Love a paradox and life is nothing, if not paradoxical. Bios normally wax on about accomplishments and beliefs, happenings in time and space. She has never accomplished anything, has no beliefs and like you was never born and will never die. Engage with Amaya at your own risk.