By Dr. Marta Adelsman
Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
(July 18, 2014)
Most people I know (including myself) tend to compare themselves with others. Here are some thoughts I’ve had lately about the effects of making comparisons on our inner peace…
Making comparisons is all about noticing differences in order to pass judgment toward yourself or another. In comparison, someone always comes up short.
Most comparisons occur in the areas of physical appearance (image) or accomplishments. They create either the drama of “better than” or “not good enough.”
It blocks your ability to see your oneness with another.
It closes down the heart and blocks compassion.
It makes you feel miserable about yourself.
It can cause an inflated sense of self, which will always deflate later.
It builds walls instead of bridges (thank you to my husband for that phrase).
So replace comparison with acceptance — acceptance of yourself and others exactly as you/they are. No way of being or doing is better or worse than another. Allow others to be exactly as they are, including yourself.
We have all been equipped to play our role exactly as we are meant to in the stage play of life.
Dear Dr. Marta,
Thank you for the interesting article about comparisons.
Yes, I am one of the ones who does this. It is very
difficult for me to see people with mouths requiring some
serious repair. In this day & age when so much is available
it is hard to see snaggle teeth hovering over a cell phone.
Priorities are obviously different for them, and for me. No,
I’m not a dentist, or in that business in any form. My first
impression of a person is drawn to their mouth. If it is in
good condition then it is reasonable to assume that they
take care of themselves. I would be more willing to consider
them for employment, for example, but not limited to that
criteria alone. Even the ‘bad guys’ in the movies have good
teeth, and prostheses are used by actors in some roles
that require a particular needed look .
There are many sources of help available these days to
help oneself look better, dentistry included. Schools of
dentistry offer help in repairing all kinds of problems at
little or no cost to patients. It is difficult for me to see these
problems, and not open my mouth(pardon the pun) to ask
them to get something done. I want to help them yet fear
causing them more problems with self esteem. So I keep
my own mouth shut, over well cared for real teeth, and
feel frustration about others. Thanks for letting me shoot my
mouth off about this! 🙂