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    Home » It’s a Set-Up — # 2
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    It’s a Set-Up — # 2

    September 6, 2017No Comments
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    Healing Paws

    By Dr. Marta Adelsman
    Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
    www.DrMartaCoach.com
    (September 6, 2017)

    Recently I read this definition of expectation, and I had to stop and think about it.  I had never heard it described in such a way…

    “Expectation is premeditated resentment.” (Author unknown)

    Yet the statement rang true and prompted the following reflections:

    We don’t realize we premeditate resentment when we have expectations.  Yet it makes sense that’s what really happens. The premeditation part occurs in secret, in our hidden shadow self, where the ego sets us up for some real downers.  The majority of the time, when we hold expectations, aren’t we usually disappointed?  Yet we forge our expectations anyway.

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     Expectations arise to lay the responsibility for our happiness onto another.  It’s not the responsibility of someone else to make us happy by falling in line with what we would have him do or be.  The responsibility for our happiness lies in one place only – with ourselves.   

    Expectations arise to make us feel righteous.  How often have I held my husband in the grip of some expectation only to feel disappointment and resentment?  It’s often an unconscious process how the ego, through our expectations, sets others up to fail.  Then it (the ego, the diminished little “me”) gets to feel powerful in its “rightness.”  When others fail to meet our expectations, do we use it as an excuse to hold it over their heads?

    There is only one expectation that serves us and others:  the expectation that others will only be themselves.  Always.  No strings attached.  We can also hold the expectation that others WILL push our buttons, causing us discomfort so we can recognize our own egos at work.
     
    It’s our job to own and transform these patterns others reflect back to us.  When we see how our expectations provide us with opportunities to move past our resentments, those resentments become our teachers.  Then we can actually welcome uncomfortable feedback in the form of unmet expectations. 

    Yes, if we let them, expectations become a set-up for our growth in wisdom.  In freeing others from our expectations, we free ourselves. 

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    City Council Weighs ATV Ban Ordinance Proposal
    By Tommy Acosta
    The Sedona City Council at its May 23, 2023 meeting took no action on a proposed ordinance that would ban all off-road vehicles from being driven on state-owned public roads or streets owned by the city. The ordinance, spearheaded by Sedona Mayor Scott Jablow on the premise that such vehicles pose a risk to the health, safety and welfare of the community, would impose heavy fines to anyone driving the ATVs or OHVs on city streets, including S.R. 179 and S.R. 89A. ATV rental companies have admitted that such vehicles are not intended or designed to be driven on paved roads, yet, in Arizona, they are allowed to do so under Arizona Revised Statute 28-1174 (4B). Opponents against the ordinance argued at the meeting that if adopted the ban would cripple the ATV rental industry in Sedona and cause much hardship to the owners and employees, as it would effectively, as written, destroy their livelihood. Read more→
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