Forgiving the Unforgivable – By First Saving Yourself

By Alan E. Freedman
(August 15, 2021)

It is true that whatever we focus on becomes larger! Entertain a life of positive thoughts, speech, and emotions, including an attitude of forgiveness towards those who have done to us unspeakable and ongoing harm and distress and we attract more of the same. Miraculously, people continually come across our path that are uniquely instrumental in getting us from where we are currently, to where we passionately desire to go. New and exciting opportunities come our way, from out of nowhere. Resilient and unflappable in the face of difficulty is our moniker. Whatever health or physical limitations that may exist wane in contrast to the heaven-like aura that surrounds us always. We exude a positive energy in our spirit, wisdom in our discourse and an unmitigated enthusiastic hope in our unlimited future. People simply love to be in our presence. They feel energized when in our mist.

Isn’t that the victorious life we would all love to live?

The opposite is most assuredly what lies in store for those who indulge and see continually only the negative, the bleak, the dark, the adverse in life, including a deep-seated resentment and even hatred towards those who were the perpetrators of a profoundly hurtful and costly part of a storied past. For them, life is an ongoing, relentless, exhausting competition based on scarcity and limits. All progress is a struggle. Nothing is synchronic. There is little, if any, so-called magic in their lives. Miracles are not a part of their individual experiences. They are for “the other guy,” the one who gets all the luck. It takes little to throw them off their game. Their confidence is low and getting lower. Most certainly, their emotions oftentimes control them, rather than them being the one in control. They often feel tired. Restful sleep eludes them. They wonder why it seems that they are oftentimes sick. Recovery seems to take forever. They lack drive. The adventurous dreams of their youth have now been replaced by a life of predictable mediocrity and monotony, a life simply running out what is left on its clock. They too attract people who are in many ways, mirror images of themselves. The positive ones, the so-called winners, they avoid them like the plague.

Does this describe your life in the present?

If it does, at least in part, I have a two more questions for you to reflect on honestly:

• How many more days are you going to allow yourself to pay dearly for the transgressions of others towards you?
• How much longer will you empower the weaknesses of those who have long forgotten you and their acts?

Forgiveness is not so much about a decision of the heart towards others. It is much more about what the condition of you own future will look like. Yes…we are the biggest determinant of what our tomorrows will look like going forward. You may say, “I understand all that, but you see, I simply can’t forgive. Humanly, I am incapable of it. What was done to me, to my children, the cost that was borne then and even to this day is incalculable. I wish only for retribution, preferably where I can witness it firsthand before I leave this earth.

In one all-important sense, you are right. Humanly speaking you are incapable of the forgiveness that is so important for you to embrace. I have yet another vitally important question you need to answer before you can move on.

If I gave you the recipe that would transform “I can’t humanly forgive” to “I can now gloriously and fully forgive,” would you be willing to accept it? 

This may just be the weightiest decision you’ll ever make!

Answer no and your life’s harvest will continue to bear what it has, for what seems like an eternity. Answer yes and I promise you the GIFT, a bounty beyond your wildest imagination that will render the significance of your need for justice impotent and of no value whatsoever. The decision is yours, as is the verdict of what your future will look like.

Haven’t you suffered with carrying the burden of this long enough?

Alan E. Freedman was born in Toronto, Ontario Canada and has been living in Arizona for 26 years. Alan is an Animal Advocate and has authored 3 books…The Walk, My Weekly Walk and I’m Every Woman. He is Podcast Creator and Host of Discovering and Living the Best Version…of YOU!