Sedona.Biz – The Voice of Sedona and The Verde ValleySedona.Biz – The Voice of Sedona and The Verde Valley
    Sedona.Biz – The Voice of Sedona and The Verde Valley Sedona.Biz – The Voice of Sedona and The Verde Valley
    • Home
    • Sedona
      • Arts and Entertainment
      • Bear Howard Chronicles
      • Business Profiles
      • City of Sedona
      • Elections
      • Goodies & Freebies
      • Mind & Body
      • Sedona News
    • Opinion
    • Real Estate
    • About
    • The Sedonan
    • Advertise
    • Sedona’s Best
    Sedona.Biz – The Voice of Sedona and The Verde ValleySedona.Biz – The Voice of Sedona and The Verde Valley
    Home»Sedona News»Confessions of a Professional Listener
    Sedona News

    Confessions of a Professional Listener

    March 14, 20181 Comment
    Facebook Twitter Pinterest LinkedIn Email Reddit WhatsApp
    Share
    Facebook Twitter LinkedIn Pinterest Email Reddit WhatsApp

    By Dr. Marta Adelsman
    Life Coach in Communication and Consciousness
    www.DrMartaCoach.com
    (March 14, 2018)

    I’ve been told I listen well, and most of the time I do.  After all, it’s the major skill in my profession!  I’m embarrassed and humbled to admit how I sometimes become distracted and fail to live up to my listening reputation.

    Sometimes, when people talk to me and I don’t agree with them, I plan a counter argument in my head. I have stopped listening. I might tune a person out because of how he behaves or dresses. I have stopped listening. If I label someone ‘boring’ and allow my mind to wander, guess what? I have stopped listening. 

    How do you forget to listen?  Maybe, like me, you tune in more to the chatter in your head than to the person in front of you.  Perhaps you interrupt others or finish their sentences. 

    True listeners cultivate genuine curiosity about people with whom they speak.  They drop their notions of what a person is like so they can find out what she is really like. They let go of what they think someone will say to find out what she really has to say.  True listeners often discover interesting facts about others that lead to captivating conversations.     

    Sedona Gift Shop

    My husband, Steve, and I have engaged in many challenging conversations throughout our 47-year relationship.  When stubbornness won and we each insisted on being understood, we would leave the conversation feeling miserable, sad and lonely.  We didn’t understand this next concept…

    True listening happens when you seek to understand before being understood.  When Steve and I took some space and used that space to explore our own motives, we usually became willing to drop our end of the rope. When we took up the conversation again, even if only one of us simply listened, the other became willing to listen as well.    

    In true listening, you hold yourself still in order to hear the other person’s truth.  You quiet the mind’s chatter.  From the silence, you hold the person capable and worthy of respect.  You thus create an accepting energy between you that frees the person to show up as capable and respect-worthy. [Write a cornerstone article on… say… 3 elements of true listening]   

    Yes, it’s true.  This professional listener does not always listen perfectly.  I’ve learned, though, to be patient with myself, and I encourage you to do the same.  After all, we’ve spent our formative years — and probably decades since then — observing poor listening models. Like me, you won’t always get it perfect. Allow time, and treat yourself with kindness as you practice new patterns.  

    Healing Paws

    This is an advertisement

    1 Comment

    1. Beverly Copen on March 19, 2018 10:04 am

      This was a truly meaningful article. I shall send it on to my grandkids…and maybe a few others!!!

    No doubt about it—President Donald Trump is Superhuman

    By Tommy Acosta

    Sedona, AZ — No mere mortal could consume the amount of Diet Coke and fast food that he does and not suffer massive health problems or debilitating conditions.

    Read more→

    The Sedonan
    House of Seven Arches
    Need More Customers?
    Bear Howard Chronicles
    Humankind
    Tlaquepaque
    Verde Valley Wine Trail
    Recent Comments
    • JB on BEAR HOWARD | SPECIAL TO THE AMERICAN PUBLIC:”Drowned by Design: How Trump’s War on Government Turns Natural Disasters Into National Tragedies”
    • TJ Hall on AI Ethics, ASSC, TSC: Consciousness and Sentience Science Nihility
    • Jill Dougherty on Stay Tuned, Sedona 
    • Steve segner on Stay Tuned, Sedona 
    • Mike Cosentino on Stay Tuned, Sedona 
    • Grant Castillou on AI Ethics, ASSC, TSC: Consciousness and Sentience Science Nihility
    • TJ Hall on BEAR HOWARD | SPECIAL TO THE AMERICAN PUBLIC:”Drowned by Design: How Trump’s War on Government Turns Natural Disasters Into National Tragedies”
    • Jill Dougherty on BEAR HOWARD | SPECIAL TO THE AMERICAN PUBLIC:”Drowned by Design: How Trump’s War on Government Turns Natural Disasters Into National Tragedies”
    • Patti Sadowski on The Humane Society of Sedona Maintained No Kill Status in 2024
    • JB on One Bullet Away
    • Dani Lewis on The Humane Society of Sedona Maintained No Kill Status in 2024
    • JB on The Attics of Conscience — What Could Soon Happen in Sedona and Across America
    • TJ Hall on One Bullet Away
    • TJ Hall on One Bullet Away
    • Jill Dougherty on One Bullet Away
    Archives
    The Sedonan
    © 2025 All rights reserved. Sedona.biz.

    Type above and press Enter to search. Press Esc to cancel.