Question: Do you think reality is benevolent?

By Amaya Gayle Gregory

Sedona, AZ — From observation, I tend to experience it as benevolent, that it trends organically towards harmony. When life is left alone, let be as it is, it quite naturally wholes itself. That ‘leave it alone’ part is tricky though. It includes not needing, wanting or desiring anything different from what’s right here right now, not in order to find harmony but because it’s the current (only) manifestation there is. All else is truly mental shenanigans.

Life, being a bittersweet, tragicomedy, makes that difficult, to say the least and of course that doesn’t even take into consideration the possibility (actuality for me) that we’re not in control of our ships of destiny. We humans think we are, that free will is in play, but if you look closely with an open mind you can easily see that it isn’t the case. There is the appearance of free will, the look and feel of it. Decisions are made, choices appear, but even science is catching up to the reality behind reality: free will is a farce. Choices are made before we even recognize there is a choice to be made.

It’s quite a hoot when you see it for what it is.

Most every teaching, and I add the word ‘most’ only to soften the blow, is about changing the landscape — healing the rifts in consciousness (or whatever word you’d rather I use) that present us with the present. Only there is no rift in consciousness, only the idea that there could be. What each teaching comes down to is the fact that we don’t like reality as it is, so we are on the lookout for new and unusual ways to mess with it.

We aren’t actually experiencing reality’s benevolence or malevolence. We are experiencing reality as we are, as the collective is. There is not two so we are affected by and affecting the entirety, although once life shows us its underbelly, and we get it all the way in, mentally, emotionally, physically, meaning the identification with the apparent doer, thinker, feeler drops, we aren’t nearly as impacted by the collective’s story. All stories are seen to be stories, imagination, make-believe, and all storytellers are telling the only story they can. Nakedly seen, they lose their punch.

Unfortunately (or as I see it, fortunately) you can’t do acceptance. It’s not something you can earn.

How could a you who doesn’t exist as you think, earn this? You can’t say, ok, I’m not going to desire, want, need. Genuine acceptance is something that life does to itself. It unfolds the characters (you and me) in its play, in maya, and it isn’t always pleasant, to put it mildly. It usually requires loss: severe illness, the death of a beloved, financial ruin, something that shakes the tree of control like a hurricane, leaving no branch unscathed.

Is reality benevolent? I’ve seen its benevolence too often to argue for the dark side. I don’t argue with reality much these days, but on occasion there is a forgetfulness. Mostly, there is a deep and abiding trust that everything is as it only could be, and when I relax into it, I can see the benevolence in the chaos. It feels absolute to me. At times, in those moments of forgetfulness, I’d like the story to move a bit faster or slower 😉 but life doesn’t attend to my mind’s tidy schedule. Wanting a quicker resolution just adds a level of pathos to the storyline, pathos that reminds me of the futility of wanting something that isn’t here. Life is on life’s timetable and what happens doesn’t revolve around me, or my needs or wishes.

The idea of a me, one with free-will and power, is what life is debunking with every experience.

The idea of ‘no me’ is not just a silly spiritual concept. The me is part of the show, the be-hicle for experiencing, important, vital, but not what we are. It’s not a noun. It’s a verb. It is experiencing itself. In a very real sense there is only This, this infinite aliveness, and life seems to want us to know this. All roads lead to this recognition. I’d call that benevolence.

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